You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
