why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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