He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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