my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I could have mohawked her pubes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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