she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
