i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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