she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
