The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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