I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
