no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
