is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
