My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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