I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
