Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
