Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
