This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
