After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my poor anus
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
