i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
