And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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