Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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