My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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