Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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