Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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