i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
