What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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