Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
