Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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