That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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