I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
