so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
vagina is talking i cant
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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