Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize