And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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