Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The air taste purple.
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