so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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