He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
