We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
