did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
