im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
