I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
