This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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