We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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