I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
