I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
