I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
