chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize