so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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