i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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