It's like God shit irony all over that family
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
