why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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