all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
