So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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