I will die if light touches me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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