I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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