we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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