is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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