There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
