drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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