I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's intense
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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