Having a random hookup so left but love u
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bring me that man meat
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
