i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
