How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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