My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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